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First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far.

Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day. Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me, so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet, where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call. When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar holiday I didn’t feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn’t bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and what’s on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don’t move me much. I more confident in God’s bliss, which more making sense in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

 dined out in U.B.C coffee with woz in lunar 2018 first dusk. here benzrad, the dad ate steak after a day's fasting

benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly... 鸠昱隆嘉 |

a determined mind. 盲言之芒岩 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼 under God's shine after i broke heart for a girl collegian, devoted to reclaim my vested kingdom of China from my ancestor with glory. 你在清贫中呆的太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
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    Jan 13, 2018

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